I will never get over how weird it feels to have tragic and emotional chapters of your life where you just also still go to work, and the grocery store, and see funny videos online all while feeling such paralyzing fear and heartache
This might suck to hear, but if you’re a people pleaser that is motivated by praise and avoids disagreements, you are easy to manipulate.
When I was in therapy after surviving years of domestic violence, my therapist had to tell me that my personality was primed for abuse and we needed to work on that so I would be better equipped to see the red flags and respond appropriately in the future.
I’m still working on this, and it’s been 8 years. If you tell someone how you want to be treated, what behaviors you don’t tolerate in your life, what you’re looking for in that relationship, and they react negatively, don’t compromise yourself. Just move on.
This one’s for all the praise-kink girlies: differentiate, self-actualize, stay sexy
This resonated with more people than I thought, so here are some phrases to practice when you would normally default to people pleasing:
I’m not comfortable with that.
I’d rather not, but thank you for the offer!
You’re welcome to disagree, but that’s not something I’m okay with.
No.
It’s personal, and I’d prefer to keep it private.
That doesn’t work for me. How about x
I respect your opinion, but I’d rather do it my way.
That is behavior that I don’t tolerate.
To each their own.
I’m not looking for feedback right now, but if I’m looking for input later, I’ll let you know.
Oh, I’m not sure I agree; I thought x
When you did/said x, I wasn’t okay with that.
I don’t accept your apology.
I can accept your apology once you’ve addressed the problem.
Hey, could you help me with x?
I need to stop.
I need some time to myself.
Just remember, your thoughts, feelings, and opinions are what make you unique, and you can change your mind later, so don’t be afraid to say them out loud. Work through things. Don’t dodge them.
the stuff going on at columbia campus rn is genuinely incredible
despite mass arrests by NYPD and several students (including rep ilhan omar’s daughter, isra hirsi) being suspended for their participation and having their university identification deactivated, the gaza solidarity encampment is still going strong well into its second day. def recommend following independent reporter talia jane who is taking part and providing live updates. (talia was the first reporter to break aaron bushnell’s self immolation in february; she was one of the reporters he contacted personally prior to the protest.)
thank you so much alexa @shivsblunt for mentioning it…..anyone who wants to contribute to their jail support fund can do so @ bcabolitioncollective on v*nmo. also, if anyone is in the area and available to join (via cssw4palestine on ig):
do you guys remember the Old Guard. remember when there was a major mainstream hollywood action scifi motion picture starring hot women with guns where gay people kissed on the mouth passionately. and the movie was both critically and financially successful. that movie feels like a fucking fever dream. i’ll never achieve the high i got when that movie came out ever again
ALT
